Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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