like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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