its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
