he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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