I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
