and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
well you can't waste a boner
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize