he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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