:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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