:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
