:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize