dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
