Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
