HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
NoShamevember. You game?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
