It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
