I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
