Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize