that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
