Fine. I'll sleep in my office
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
