Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
