It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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