Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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