Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
