I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize