brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
