well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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