its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
