So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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