no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You made out with two different species that night
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
