If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
