she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
soo... how was my night?
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