she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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