Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___

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(560): View more from

I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?

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(910): View more from North Carolina

He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.

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(406): View more from Montana

I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life

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(289): View more from Ontario

Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working

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(708): View more from Illinois

Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.

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(850): View more from Florida

I'd cum for enchiladas.

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(334): View more from Alabama

I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.

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