I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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