i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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