Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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