i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
