I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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