Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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