Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
