She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You have to summon your inner elephant
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize