So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Help. Why am I so naked?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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