hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
