I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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