Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
