You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
