it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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