Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
