If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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