We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize