Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
