Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I didn't notice because vodka
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
