lets start a swedish sibling band together
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize