we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
