I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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