Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
